thoughts about it

Although these thoughts are quite irrelevant to the literature—the core of my ideas are central to the theme of the class. I am not too sure if this biological or per social stratifications, but my associations look like me. My friends, my lovers, my coworkers, brown like me. There is an immediate sense of familiarity, being together thus becomes a breeze. Conversations then become intriguing-politics at the center of our thoughts.

I was asked to challenge my insecurities, and place myself in male-dominated spaces. It couldn’t be that difficult; I consciously chose a group of brown men with a historically progressive record. I was late of course. Walked into what was already a hot topic. There was only one seat available, all the way in the front. I am still unsure why guys like to sit in the back, my professor once disgustingly suggested that “they like to stare at girls’ thongs from the back of the classroom.” Desperate, I know. As I was taking my seat one guy added to the on-going conversation, “For those of you who are not graduating yet—take advantage! Because once you graduate, you will not have so many women available.” Did my father think that way of women before he married my mother? Was my mother one of the options on the menu? Because of my still heterosexist thinking, I wondered about that guy’s mother, “was she also on the menu? Did his dad choose her out of the many options?”  Sometime during the meeting, I was asked to introduce myself. Without finishing my complete introduction, some guy interrupted as soon as I said I was a women’s studies major—“he can give us pointers!” They laughed. My body stood uncomfortable.   

                Also, not too long ago my ex-boyfriend called my straight  best female friend/roommate a “bitch” for challenged his male privilege. In privacy, he expressed his inability to speak his mind (note: a male’s mind) in the apartment.