historical amnesia

The idea of historical amnesia, or as I have also understood it to be called—genetic memory, to me has been a very powerful concept. The idea that although we, the current we, as a people, did not physically undergo, or vividly experience the many atrocities that our community has suffered. Therefore, although I don’t remember much of what I was thought in high school, perhaps as a result of it being a history that was very irrelevant to me. Also, AP American History focused a lot on the formation of this country, and even though the taking of the “southwest” is increasingly important, there is a very little focus paid attention to this. I would argue that it is a result of the curtailment of critical thinking that American educational institutions abide by. If schools begin teaching, in detail, what “really” did happen, how the United States came to be such a huge country, in land mass and in power, students would continue to press difficult questions that would ultimately lead to the understanding that the United States, as an imperialist nation, is a power hungry patriarchal state.

The word patriarchy is a hotly contested one, and few would want to be associated with it. Therefore, by not acknowledging exactly the tools employed by this nation to become such a powerful country, our institutions deny us the opportunity to understand the ideologies that have led us to this.

I find it difficult not to abide by models of feminism, that many (in particular whiteness) consider outdated. Yet, I have a particular interest, proclivity towards feminists of color who strongly contributed to this idea of cultural feminism, the idea of womanhood, the femininity, as a powerful tool that patriarchy tries to subjugate and belittle. Thus, the idea of memory – at least to me, reminds me of this powerful force. The fact that women have had the important task of retelling our peoples story, continuing and keeping the memories alive of the previous tasks, which is why I find it to be such a powerful construction.

Understanding my position, both privileged but also marginalized as my intersectional (and ultimately complex/clashing) identities has led to me the position living within the margins. This marginal space is full of both untold stories as well as mysterious paths leading towards my queer Aztlan. Therefore, understanding my history as a person – queer, hombre, son, Chicano, etc. is key to comprehending where I will be going. But it has been difficult—being born in a country that is constantly denying me the opportunity to be. I was born in Mexico in 1989, and immigrated to the United States in 1993. In terms of socialization, I would argue that I have embraced American values (read as White Supremacist Capitalist Patriarchal ideologies). Yet, at the same time I have struggled with naming myself

In coming to terms with my Chicano identity have been “forced” to re-learn a lot. I feel privileged in a way, although at also times plagued by this onus—when I was in high school, I had the prerogative of attending a program dedicated for young Chicana/os. As a result of those programs, I began my own process of conocimineto, and thus co-enrolled in several community college courses, mainly Chicano/a Studies at East LA College. In addition, our high school offered Mexican-American Studies and Chicano Literature, and since my older brother took it, I had access to some knowledge about what it meant to be brown in the United States.