okay even though i know i shouldnt be influenced my society's views and opinions, i cant go on in life by stating that "i dont really care" when honestly deep inside a grudge is building. Life is trully an amazing roller coaster, whith drops, swirlls, heights, low points, etc. etc. Yet, i cant manage to see why i should care about ignorant remarks that society offers. I mean, in my trip of life i think im well off the way i am. I have reached a peak that I havent reached yet, but i know theres many more peaks yet to be reached. Friends i have, family love i own, God I admire, so what am i missing? Shouldnt i be fully gratefull for everything. Ironically, i should but Im not. I realized that what i am missing is my own admiration, my self-respect, my self-dignity. I had an awkward conversation with a friend of mine, he reinstated that i was open too much, i mean i could careless. if people have to know im bi, then let it be; but am i really bi? and if i was so, who cares! i do have plans in the future of marriage, and children. But honestly, i dont mean to find love with a guy, i guess i have just realised that i need to have fun, before i get a reality check and realize ill have to grow up at one time in life, and it seems to be coming sooner than later.
so my personality, is quite random! there's various random people just not many becuase they are afraid to show their individuality. So then why should i care?! Cuz it hurts thats why i care. Odd remarks, witty comments, sure they shouldnt mean much but they do. i mean one or two feckless remakrs wont have much effect, but a bundle of them do have an effect. Many can see it through my affection in life, but hey its life. So this friend, he said i was easy to read?! is that trully so? am i. Can people immediatly know what im thinking, what im feeling, what im going to do? Can they really? is that a good thing, or a bad thing? Should i be more concerned about hiding my feelings, i mean i think i should. if for those who dont like me, if they know what im thinking then ill be voulnerable and it would be easier to attack me. Is my army of friends enough to surpass the attacks? Wat for, at times it seems like i havent yet found the right friends. that im still hidding in my shell for my true friends. So now, am i doubting my friends as i am doubting myself. perhaps, but i shouldnt, and im not.
furthermore, is acting a bit too wild, talking about random things a malediction? no, it shouldnt i should find the negative vibe and convey it to a positive energy to get me through life.
oh screw it all! if people want to talk, let them talk....we'll see! God loves me, and i love him back...that's what counts!
Screw those who dont care, screw those who wish to oppose me...at the end....Truthfullness and diverseness will uprise! I mean, why would people want to be the same, how fun is that.
i have been quiet, i have trembled. i have feared, but now i dont see why i would want to stay quiet. i was quiet...did people enjoy that?! me not being weird. oh well ... at times i like this one better than the other one.
so my personality, is quite random! there's various random people just not many becuase they are afraid to show their individuality. So then why should i care?! Cuz it hurts thats why i care. Odd remarks, witty comments, sure they shouldnt mean much but they do. i mean one or two feckless remakrs wont have much effect, but a bundle of them do have an effect. Many can see it through my affection in life, but hey its life. So this friend, he said i was easy to read?! is that trully so? am i. Can people immediatly know what im thinking, what im feeling, what im going to do? Can they really? is that a good thing, or a bad thing? Should i be more concerned about hiding my feelings, i mean i think i should. if for those who dont like me, if they know what im thinking then ill be voulnerable and it would be easier to attack me. Is my army of friends enough to surpass the attacks? Wat for, at times it seems like i havent yet found the right friends. that im still hidding in my shell for my true friends. So now, am i doubting my friends as i am doubting myself. perhaps, but i shouldnt, and im not.
furthermore, is acting a bit too wild, talking about random things a malediction? no, it shouldnt i should find the negative vibe and convey it to a positive energy to get me through life.
oh screw it all! if people want to talk, let them talk....we'll see! God loves me, and i love him back...that's what counts!
Screw those who dont care, screw those who wish to oppose me...at the end....Truthfullness and diverseness will uprise! I mean, why would people want to be the same, how fun is that.
i have been quiet, i have trembled. i have feared, but now i dont see why i would want to stay quiet. i was quiet...did people enjoy that?! me not being weird. oh well ... at times i like this one better than the other one.
No comments:
Post a Comment